Jay Furr (jayfurr) wrote,
Jay Furr

I Feel So ... Dirty

Yesterday I had occasion to place a call to the membership/enrollment arm of my health care insurer, Blue Cross/Blue Shield of Alabama.

I work for a very large Fortune 500 company. Our HR department insures us via an ever-changing network of health insurance plans. It’s actually kinda rare that I have the exact same carrier for more than a year or two, and as of the beginning of this year, my fellow Vermont employees got switched this year from MVP (a New York and Vermont insurance provider) to BC/BS of Alabama. For all I know, next year I’ll be enrolled with Cosmopolitan Health Insurance of Pago Pago.

Still, it’s not that big a deal: the actual benefits remain the same from insurer to insurer. This is the advantage of working for a megacorporation who can say “Here’re the benefits we wish to offer, what rate will you give us? Low bid wins.”

So anyway: I placed my call to the customer service number on the back of my member ID card and promptly got through to a friendly female employee whose voice couldn’t have been more Deep South/Heart of Dixie if she’d tried. Let’s put it this way: there was no question of this being an offshored call center employee somewhere in Hyderabad.

I had the mad urge to ask her where in Alabama she was and make some random reference to the giant statue of Vulcan in Birmingham, but a voice inside me said “Confuse her after she’s helped you, not before.” So I told her what I needed to have changed in my records; she promptly made the change and asked if she could help me with anything else.

I said “No, thank you so much!” and then the Devil got a hold of me: against my better judgment and the good solid values I learned during my undergraduate years at the University of Georgia, I betrayed all that is right and proper and said … “Roll Tide!”

The nice lady on the other end of the call paused for a second, then, sounding surprised but very pleased, responded “Well, Roll Tide to you too!”

I feel so dirty. I think I’ll go hide somewhere now and conceal my shame.


Tags: pointless blathering
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